Alice in da hood!
by TheGirlFromYesterday15
Summary: A parody of Alice In Wonderland.Raine aka Alice is living in a depressing world.She spends her days running from the cops&getting into trouble someway or another.But when she gets kidnapped to a new dimensional world AKA Hood-Land,things start to twist.


**CHAPTER 1: STORY OF MY LIFE**

It was a beautiful day out today. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and my long golden blonde hair was blowing in the wind. I lived in one of the prettiest cottages in all the land. I had deep blue eyes like the clear blue ocean that my cottage overlooked. I have two parents named Aaron and Lucia that could be mistaken for models and am blessed with a sister name Clarissa and a brother named Kai. Clarissa is one year younger than me; 15 and my brother is a year older than me;17.

Oh wait...Wrong story. The names Alice that is before I changed it to Raine. I'm 17. I have long choppy black scene hair. I'm skinny because I never get enough food to eat and am about 5'6. I live in a shack located behind McDonald's. My "parents" also known as the Osbourne wanna-be's died in a car accident or that is what the cover story was to the police. Really they just wanted to run away from their problems like loans, stalkers, secret relationships, FBI, mafia, swine flu...you know "normal" problems. So they did what they do best. They hopped in my 09 red Mustang convertible that I stole just last week and sped off to Can-coon to get wasted and high. The only reason why I even knew that they did that was because I was in the back seat getting wasted when they realised that they were not alone, and threw me out of my own car. The last words I remember them saying before I blacked-out were "You must go back! Or maybe it was..."You just got jacked." I have no siblings, and thank god for that everyday. I'm constantly getting into trouble with the cops...usually because I need a car, or need some "mushrooms".

-------------------------

"Yo Raine, what up homie G?"

"_Heather _quit that, you ain't gangsta!" I yelled back.

Heather was kinda like me, an out cast that wanted out of this world...She had short blonde hair and always appeared in short denim skirts even though her legs couldn't pull it off considering all the bruises she had on her legs. She had an attitude for sure. I met her when i was 13, that'when I started changing from little miss sunshine Alice to dark Raine. We aren't really friends, but we aren't just acquaintances either. Its hard to explain our relationship.

"Oh whatever girl, you be trippin!" Heather returned.

"Your the one trippin." I sighed.

" How so home girl?" asked Heather.

"I don't know, maybe because I caught you making out with my ex-boyfriend last night behind MY house! Or the fact that you "borrowed" my favorite Three days grace shirt, and NEVER gave it back, and it has been about a year now! Take your pick." I smirked.

"First of all Raine, Tristan's your EX for a reason! He dumped you so you need to just get over it , and I wouldn't call that piece of shit a house; it's a shack Raine, a SHACK! And sixthly, that shirt never looked good on you in the first place so I'm doing you a favor! Don't hate me because you can't be me!"

"Oh hell no, you just went to far there Heather, I would never want to be you, the only reason why Tristan is even wasting his time on you is because every one in the entire school knows that your a slut and will put out!"

"Ouch that hurts. You know you need to work on your friendship skills Raine because with that attitude you will get know where girly."

"Ugh your impossible!" I shouted and walked away."

"Parents ditched me for Can-coon, ex boyfriend is going out with my trashy "friend", and i live in a shack...story of my life!"

As i was walking, minutes passed, and the sun was starting to set. I had no idea where I was going this time, but I needed out of here. It was starting to get cold. _Heather has my Metallica jacket of course._ I thought to myself. _Why do I even put up with her, what has she ever done for me! It's always about Heather and never about Alice...I mean Raine. Ridiculous. All she does is take advantage of me and then stab be in the back like everyone else. I cant wait for karma to pay her a visit!_

I finally stopped walking when i came across a strange dark figure that was blocking the forest also known as **fire fun activity park.**

"Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?" I spoke up.

....No answer. The shadowy figure stepped back a couple steps.

"That right, you best be afraid of me!" I said triumphantly.

"I'm not afraid of you." Yelled the strange silhouette. When I looked up I caught a glimpse of a whitish rabbit. But it couldn't be. It was huge and dressed up in a army outfit. When I rubbed my eyes for a minute and then opened them again I noticed the bunny was carrying a bomb in his PAWS.

"Hey why are you carrying a weapon?! Rabbits are animals not mass murderers!" I squealed.

"I have a job to do and I must do it, or else it's off with my head!" The rabbit yelled.

"Wait don't kill me I'm not who you think I am!" I pleaded.

"Oh really, who are you?"

"HILARY CLINTON!"

"Don't buy it."

"BRITNEY SPEARS!"

"She's in rehab right now."

"Brad Pitt!"

..."You are not a guy but nice try."

"But---

All of a sudden the rabbit threw a bomb at me but landed 60 miles away from me.

-gasp-

"CUT!"

The rabbit looked at me confused.

"You have poor aim my friend. And your are going all about this the wrong way! If your going to kill me you need to have suspenseful music playing in the back ground. Duh! and you didn't tell me who you are, whats your name, why you want to kill me, and even how you know my name." I critiqued.

"Okay I do not need some stupid hormonal teenager telling me what to do! I was sent here to do my job because I am the best of the best."

"Right, that's why you missed. I interrupted.

"The names G-I Rabbit, brothers of the G-I Jo's and I never said I was going to kill you, you imbecile!"

"I'm sorry for getting the impression you did on account you were carrying a bomb...stupid me." I said sarcastically.

"Ugh! I had enough of you! Get into the Hummer already!"

What Hummer? I asked.

All of a sudden black smoke filled the air around me and I couldn't see a thing. when it cleared up 3 minutes later a white hummer was parked on the grass next to the G-I Rabbit. Before I could even say a word, I was pushed into the hummer's backseat and knocked out unconscious.

Stupid teenagers....Why can't Alice be like a Mary-sue goody too shoes...It's sad Alice I mean "Raine" is Hood-Lands only hope.

...A moment later the Hummer was surrounded by bright red smoke and the Hummer along with its' passengers had dissapeared when the smoke cleared..

**Thanks for reading, please read and review! This is my first story on fanfiction but I hope it amuses you. More interesting chapters to come! :)**

**~Mandy**


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